I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish.
She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour.
I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken."
Today, I was flirting via text with a coworker. Things started getting heated, and I wanted to send her a sexy picture. I asked if she had any suggestions. She said, "Your nuts!" She meant, "YOU ARE nuts." I sent her a photo of my junk. I offended a co-worker with incriminating evidence.